Everybody needs a community.
I wish I could find the reel I saw last year of a guy explaining how many of us haven't experienced community since college.
As he spoke, I couldn't get over how true it was.
I'm grateful for the fact that I have a personal and professional community, but it's not everyone's story, and I'm seeing it more each day.
In college, everything was within walking distance— food, laundromats, academic resources, transportation, and even work if it was nearby or on campus. Your friends were around the corner. Mentors were always accessible. There was always a place to go and decompress. Friends would cook, invite you over, and you only brought something when it was a planned group effort.
Needed a ride to campus?
Access to the Commons?
An ID to get into a workout class?
A sitter while you finish an exam or work shift?
An outfit to wear for a night out?
A good word put in for a job?
A trusted circle to be there for one another through the highs and lows?
Somebody in your community always held you down. You had plenty of time for life beyond responsibilities. You also never realized how broke you might have been, because you were always taken care of one way or another.
Life also wasn't as demanding as it is now and families weren't as large.
I would say you couldn't buy a community like that today, but the gag is, it's actually an option.
Aside from the obvious, that type of community is nonexistent for many adults, but there are plenty of reasons why.
One of them being that we live in a capitalistic society that has forced people into survival mode. It has created a self-serving disposition that has caused communities to crumble.
How can you support others when your head is barely above water, mental health is on a sharp decline, family just isn't what it used to be, and systems are being restructured to prevent your progress?
You get back to doing life together. You choose to rebuild your community.
Check in for more than a simple conversation, plan the budget-friendly gatherings, spend quality time with each other, share resources, and give in the ways that you actually can. Start there.
Community isn't a crutch. It's a reciprocal environment that circulates love and provides support in every form, sustained by reliable beings.
It takes trust and vulnerability, which aren't easy to come by. But we must have the tough conversations, face hard truths, and be open to necessary change in order to make it happen.
I could go on, but I really just want people who need community to get back to finding and creating theirs. Life might not look the same as it did years ago, but you can decide what community should look like for you now. There are plenty of others who would gladly build with you.
At the end of each day, you still need your people. We need each other.
Update: Here is the referenced reel regarding college and community.
As someone who has literally never had the opportunity to focus solely on academics I can say from experience how impactful this specific situation can be. Even though I did attend university, at the time I was working one full time, two part time jobs and was a single mother of twin 4 year olds. I was in class completely online and as a fashion design major that just wasn’t working out I never had the full on campus lifestyle meeting and connecting with classmates and building a collegiate community never happened for me. Now in my 30s my I can see the impact or lack there of in my personal and professional life